Forgiveness Isn’t What You Think: What the Bible Really Says

Let’s talk about something real: forgiveness.

Not the “just get over it” type.

Not the “keep the peace even if it costs your soul” kind either.

I’m talking about biblical forgiveness—the kind that frees you from carrying pain that was never yours to hold in the first place.

For many of us, especially as women who lead, love, and pour from deep wells, forgiveness can feel like a weighty, unfair expectation. But if we’re going to live the abundant life Jesus promised, we have to understand that forgiveness is less about the other person and more about our own healing.

Let’s break it down.

1. Forgiveness Is a Command, Not a Suggestion

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

— Matthew 6:14–15 (ESV)

Jesus didn’t mince words here. Our willingness to forgive is connected to our ability to receive forgiveness from God. That’s not about earning His love—it’s about living in alignment with the way He loves.

2. Forgiveness Means Letting Go of the Right to Get Even

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

— Ephesians 4:31–32 (ESV)

Forgiveness is not about pretending it didn’t hurt. It’s choosing not to repay pain with more pain. It’s trusting that God will handle what we can’t.

Here’s a quick breakdown of the emotions that keep us stuck:

• Bitterness – unspoken resentment

• Wrath – explosive rage

• Anger – simmering hostility

• Clamor – loud, chaotic conflict

• Slander – attacking someone’s character

• Malice – the desire to harm

Bitterness is the root. Everything else? The fruit.

3. Forgiveness Is Christlike Love in Action

“And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’”

— Luke 23:34 (ESV)

Jesus forgave while hanging on the cross, surrounded by people mocking and crucifying Him. That kind of forgiveness can’t be manufactured—it’s a supernatural act of surrender.

What Forgiveness Is NOT:

• It’s not excusing the behavior

• It’s not forgetting the harm

• It’s not immediate reconciliation

• It’s not trust without accountability

What Forgiveness IS:

• A decision to release

• A boundary-setting tool

• An act of obedience

• A gift you give yourself

Want to Go Deeper?

This is just the beginning. On this week’s episode of The EZ Breezy Life Podcast, I dive even deeper into what forgiveness really means, how to recognize when you’re walking in bitterness, and how to start the journey toward healing—even if the apology never comes.

Tune in to the full episode now:

#EZBreezyLife #FaithFirst #TrueHealing #LetItGo #ForgivenessJourney #GodsPeace #WealthInLove